I want to start this with a disclaimer: I cannot, do not, and will not speak for the gods. All I can ever do is share what I hear, with the caveat that what I hear may be misinterpreted, misrepresented, misheard, or simply invented. The things I say with certainty are true to my experience. That does not necessarily make them meaningful to others. That said, I present Cernunnos’ views on my suicidality, and later my views on His role in suicide prevention.
I who am the bringer of death, the guide of souls, and King of the Dead tell you this:
Your death will come at the hour of my choosing. Your death will come only when the moment is right, when your soul hangs ripe from your body, ready to fall as a plum from a tree. On that day I will gather you close to me, I will reap your soul from your failing body.
But you, who have sworn your life to Me, have forsaken the right to choose that moment. You, whose life is Mine, who I love with the fullness of My divine being, whose life I hold dear though you yourself do not – you have sworn to Me a life. Do not profane your vows by seeking to end it.
Clearly the last part of that wouldn’t apply to most people, but as to the rest – I want to talk about Cernunnos as god of suicide prevention. Because Cernunnos the Reaper has views on suicide, and Cernunnos the Psychopomp has feelings about it. But Cernunnos, King of the Underworld weeps for every life lost before its time.
Cernunnos as I know and experience Him is wildly, passionately in love with life. I love your life He has told me, time and time again. Cernunnos, as I know Him, will always, always, help you to stay alive if you ask Him to. Even if you don’t ask Him to, He will likely try. Time after time He has put obstacles in my way, had people call me or interrupt me at just the right moment. He wants us to live.
So this is what I want to say: to anyone struggling at the moment, to anyone trying to stay alive in spite of a brain that wants them dead, to anyone who doesn’t know how to go on any longer – I know how you feel. I have been there, continue to be there. I know it hurts like hell. I know that Cernunnos wants you alive. I know that He has always helped me when I could not help myself. I know that He has kept me alive when I have not wanted to be.
So if you are a devotee or worshipper of His – know that He wants you to live. Know that He will move heaven and earth to keep you alive if it is not your time to die. Know that this determination, which can seem so much like cruelty, is His love for you.
And if you are not one of His people but find yourself in need, reach out. I do not remember what it is like not to be His, but I do not believe for a moment that He would turn you away.