devotional writing

The Beginner’s Guide to Devotion

i. step, stumble. fall. your falling is sacred, but your rising again is glorious.

ii. step, stumble. fall. rinse, repeat. rinse, repeat. this is the secret they are all telling you, the mystery they are all hiding. one and the same thing, and all it amounts to is your beloved whispering in your ear don’t give up.

iii. tomorrow you will forget to love him. it does not matter. how old is he, how huge? days pass like drawing breath – he will still love you afterwards.

iv. scream, rage, collapse. the shrine dismantled and reassembled and dismantled again, but you are still his, and this is still sacred.

v. he is huge, dazzling, awe-inspiring. you think you saw his face, truly his face, peering from between branches yesterday. what have you got yourself into, what have you done? you think maybe you are crazy, you think maybe you should run.

vi. you are crazy. you do run. he finds you anyway. he burns through your veins like fire, and his finding is the sweetest moment since the last. it will not happen again.

vii. it does happen again. still he finds you, still the moment of finding is glorious. later you break down, you cannot keep doing this, he deserves more than this, the same faith he has shown you.

viii. he does not love you because he wants you to be a version of himself. he loves you for the self you are, and the self you will be.

ix. the next time you run, you find your own way back. he is waiting for you, joy spilling from him because this time he did not need to chase you.

x. love. love until your heart is raw, your voice is hoarse, and your lungs are fighting for breath. you can never love him enough, but you will go to your end trying.

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