In just a few hours I will be on a plane taking me back to the country where I was born, and where I grew up. I haven’t been back for more than a decade and I’ve missed it terribly. But now that I’m actually going back I find that I’m a little afraid.
It took me a long time to get used to England. It felt so unfamiliar, so alien, and so unfriendly. With hindsight I think that what I was noticing was how very different the land spirits here are. I didn’t know what to do with it. I’ve been sensitive to things like that for longer than I’ve known how to describe them, and only in recent years have I developed any ways of effectively responding to them.
I’m worried that the land spirits are going to feel hostile, as the spirits of English land did to me for such a long time. I still think of the place I’m visiting as home, and I don’t want to think that I won’t feel at home there.