I have always sung for You, Cernunnos,
but tonight the song will not come.
I am remembering everything You have been to me,
every loving word You have whispered in my ear
and wondering how I could ever have thought
You would not love me.
I am remembering velvety antlers beneath my fingers,
a gleeful laughter in my ears,
harsh nights that were empty but for Your touch.
I am remembering sitting in Your silence
and slowly piecing myself back together,
Your love the glue that bound the fragments to one another.
“The gods are not your therapist,” people say
but You are whatever You wish to be,
and I do not care for their opinions
when You have been holding me together for years.
I do not think I need You to any longer.
I think I can love You freely now, Cernunnos,
love You knowing that I do not need You.
I think my heart may burst.