There is only one thing I know for certain – that if I desire relationship with the gods, I must do the work required to build and maintain them. Am I doing that successfully? No idea; I could plausibly be inventing all of this. Am I doing it well? Again, I have no idea. Are the gods real? I think so. All of my experiences have led me to believe that the gods are real, that they interact with us, that they take an interest in our lives. But I can’t know that, I have no irrefutable proof.
But if I desire relationship with Them, I need to work at it. This is where I’ve been failing with Cernunnos. I haven’t been doing the work because I haven’t known what work to do. I used to know how to do this – how can everything feel so different now? Because it does, it really inescapably does. I don’t know how to love Him
(what to do, how to move Him…). Seriously, though, I have no idea what I’m doing. That would be incredibly useful knowledge to have at the moment!
But what I do know is that He has always been patient with me, has never held my failure and occasional neglect against me. He has always waited for me, always stayed where I will find Him if I only think to look.
Cernunnos, I pray You forgive my failings and my absence. I pray that You might wait for me as You have so many times before. Please, Cernunnos, teach me again how to love You.