What does companionship mean for Cernunnos and me? Fuck if I know.
See, as I know I’ve mentioned before, for a couple of years ‘Cernunnos’ has also been Not-Cernunnos, there’s been two of Them behind that name when I’ve called it even though I couldn’t tell. But that isn’t happening any more, and since the Man in Black stepped out from behind the mask it became clear that pretty much all of what I had been doing devotionally were things I did for Him and not for Cernunnos. Cernunnos, for His part, is reverting to the way He was with me before the identity scam and…I’ve forgotten how it works. I’ve forgotten how we were, what I used to do for Him.
A while ago, Raven Kaldera wrote a thing about the way the gods are with different people, and how they have a more personal and a less personal face. Before the identity fun times I usually got the less personal Cernunnos, and that’s Who I’m getting again now. I don’t love Him any less now that I’m back to His less personal face, but I am less sure what to do with that love.
And I really don’t know how, or even if, companionship fits in to what’s going on now. Companionship is the Man in Black turning up while I’m playing video games and laughing at how terrible I am at fighting; it is not being awestruck by the ridiculous majesty of Cernunnos because He appears to just be Forest. I have the awestruck wonder thing with the Man in Black as well, because He’s just so much, but I have more trivial things as well. I don’t think I have that with Cernunnos any more.
I don’t know what I’m doing, so here is my (devotional?) flailing 🙂